I've seen a lot of questions from guys asking how they can get a shy
girl to open up to them. Now it oftenhappens to me where I'm put in
that shy girl situation wherea guy is trying to talk to me but I just
get so shy that Ican't keep the conversation flowing or even relax and
feelcomfortable around him.

Ironically, many of my friends would never be able to imagineme as a
shy person, but that's because only certain peoplemake me feel this
way. I started thinking, and I noticed apattern. I realized that the
more confident and sure a person is of themselves, the more I feel shy
and tense around them. Now don't get me wrong here, being shydoesn't
mean that a person has a low self esteem. It can justmean that they
lack some confidence or are quiet by nature.

The following information is more accurate when approaching agirl who
lacks a bit of confidence, which is the case in most shygirl
situations. She is afraid to say the wrong things in casepeople reject
her.

But, what makes her feel shy?

When a guy approaches her with a lot of confidence, he alwaysseems to
know what to say, is completely relaxed, that's whenshe can start to
get really shy. Because he is so confident andsure of himself, it
makes her feel very inferior to him and shebecomes very cautious in
how she should reply/react. He seems toknow exactly what to say all
the time, so it can make her feelnervous because she on the other
hand, has no clue what tosay!

What helps me to open up and relax?

If a guy shows her that he's not a judgmental person, buta kind
accepting one, and that she's not a nobody to him,then it would be
much easier for her to be herself around him. Italso makes it easier
if the guy notices what makes heruncomfortable and tries to avoid
doing it around her and viceversa. For example: I'm health conscious,
so if a guy talksabout smoking or wasting himself around me, that
would make mefeel uncomfortable and I wouldn't know how to react. But,
ifI like to play sports, talking about sports would make me feelmore
relaxed, get the drift?

How can you show her that she can be herself around you and she
doesn't have to worry about you rejectingor hurting her?

First, show her that you actually want to get to know her andthat you
aren't just randomly talking to her. You can do thisby listening to
what she has to say meaning youare giving her your full attention when
she speaks and not alwaystalking about yourself. Please note that you
don't want toput her on the spot too much, as you start to learn more
aboutwhat she likes, if there's anything you two share in common,you
might want to talk about that instead of making it all abouther or
both of you. By initiating a conversation of this type, ithelps her to
get more and more use to you meaning that shellstart to feel more
comfortable and accepted around you.

Next, make sure that you don't gossip too mucharound her or speak
negatively about other people.Speaking badly about others will make
her very self consciousaround you. It tells her that you aren't a
loyal person andthat you can easily turn around when she's gone and
speak thesame way about her. This will definitely make her more
consciousof what she does and says around you, preventing her
fromopening up to you.

If she ever goes to say something to you, even when she juststarts to
open up, if she changes her mind and says never mind,tell her that you
want to hear what she has to say and ask her totell you. Be careful
though; don't be too pushy about it. Ifafter a couple of times you see
that she really doesn't wantto tell you, just let it go and assure her
that your all ears ifshe feels like telling you later. Usually, she
does this becauseshe wants to tell you something, but is afraid to
because of herlack of confidence. If you do this, it can help her feel
morecomfortable talking to you.

Don't make a move too fast. Shy girlstake time to adapt. If you ask
one out on a date right when shestarts feeling comfortable around you,
she most likely will havea heart attack! Do fun things with her first
and then if youthink she could be a potential girlfriend, then slowly
starthinting things to her. This way, it will give her time to
startconsidering you as more than a friend and then later when you
askher on a date she'll be ready for it.

OK, so I know what you are all thinking. Is itseriously that much work
to get a shy girl? Is it evenworth it? Well, yes, and no. Every girl
is different. Somerequire more work than others, just like some are
more of a prizethan others. But sometimes, you don't know what you can
getunless you try. The best girls are often the ones you have towork
the most for. The process of it all can be very fun andexciting
anyway.