Dear Ladies,
This is something that should never even happen...never!!! And here is how to prevent it:
Someone has to have a cool head and heart in this instance, so condition yourself to be the one who has these great qualities. A quarrel will start over nothing and destroy a couple in seconds with harsh words, maybe sometimes forgiven, but never forgotten. So, never say them...do Not accuse! Ask questions instead!
If someone told me my lady was cheating; it would hurt, but why would she do this? I'd have to know, because it is the one thing I could not forgive. So I ask first if she did this terrible crime, and I may start by saying, "I was told you were seeing another man. Is this true?" Still no need for harsh words; the deed is done or it isn't! Do Not believe everything you hear from someone else. There are reasons for someone telling you that something is wrong with your relationship. The person that told you of the wrong may want you for him/herself; or they may be setting you up for someone else, yes? So very many possibilities here, and who should you believe, why, the one you love, of course. I know you cannot love someone without trust, so if you love, you trust; Now maintain that trust! Believe in your Love and in your Lover first. Ask questions if you really need to, but even those questions may lead to a quarrel in themselves. At least, you haven't blindly accused her/him of wrong doing, and that helps ...a little). I don't go on the offensive immediately, and I rarely go on the defensive also. Usually I wait, look and listen, but I don't do it with malice in my heart. I'm trying to prove my trust in my lady is earned by her, and really, why should I doubt her? Because someone tells you of something doesn't mean it is right or even true. It may have been an innocent thing to begin with and was just perceived wrongly by that third party. Love is fragile thing for a long time, but it is a rare and beautiful thing every time, so treasure it. Cherish it and your Lover like no other, except for your Mom). Mom always deserves all your love too, you know. Mom always forgives too! Can you be like Mom and always forgive? Probably not, because your Lover is not your own blood whom you birthed. But they should be next in line to Mom, believe me!
Summary;
So, Be cool, react slowly, if at all in public. This should be a private thing anyway. You only have one Lover and any quarrel is between the two of you, so keep it private, out of respect. Keep a cool head and gather information about the incident. Reflect on all you learn. Then ask questions of your Lover in a way that does Not accuse. Hold her hand while doing this, to show your love and not to be in any threatening manner at all. Show your belief in him/her and your trust. Personally, I do not believe in having a close friend of the opposite gender. It never works out, because we're just not made for that. But if I needed advice on something for my girl's birthday, I may ask another woman I know, but it usually will be one of her friends, and not someone who could be perceived as a threat to my girl or my relationship. Just be very careful and exhaust every effort to find the truth without useless accusations in the beginning. It may have been a simple occurrence that brooked no evil, yet an accusation tells your other half that you don't trust them. You cannot be too careful with someone's heart. It's even more fragile, sometimes, than your relationship. A very tender heart is trusting in you to take care of it and needs constant proof you are doing just that. Remember, the toughest man can have the most tender heart where you are concerned. Hopefully, there is a tender streak in all of us. I haven't said it all but,
I rest my case.
Best wishes to all,
Ray!