When most people talk about emotional balance they are usually think about mental health. This too is a necessary ingredient but it is not what I am talking about now. There are I feel two emotions that I consider primate in the sense that they are base emotions from which other emotions are derived. Like base or primary color from which other colors are derived. To me these base emotions associated with reproduction where given to use by evolution to assist in our reproduction. Much like love. But my discussion would not be complete if I did not say, “Love is designed to help us select a mate and create babies.” It was not created to function as a path to happiness. Because evolution does not care is we are happy or not, it only care that we reproduce. I feel the biggest mistake I see people, especially woman, make is that they see love as a guide to happiness. I feel and have personally observed this is a lifetime strategic mistake. My view is that, “Love is an emotion that is not to be trusted but occasional enjoyed.”
As a side note. I have been reading literature from the dating , pickup and relationship community around the world, who objective is to help men find and attract a mate. That is how to seduce women for both short and long term relationships. And one of the base strategies is to get the woman to fall in love. Yes, the base program given by evolution to all women is starting to be understood and once understood can be manipulated to cause the woman to feel the emotion of love. So my advice to all woman is for them to be aware of this source of manipulation and adapt the philosophy discussed in the previous paragraph. To repeat, “Love is an emotion that is not to be trusted but occasionally enjoyed.”
Now back to the original purpose of this blog. The two emotions I am referring to are tenderness and lust. I know some men consider tenderness a sissy emotion, one that is not felt by true men. I feel my father felt this way. If the family was watching a movie and tenderness was being expressed he would leave the room. I see now that actually he was more of an emotional cripple because of this view. I also feel it can be a view held by a culture. I think this could be true of the Russian and Ukrainian culture. That is their men think tenderness is a sissy emotion not felt by true men and this may be the reason their women find this deficiency in their men. I realize I am way out on a limb on this and willing to accept constructive criticism.
Also among women, an individual woman could have been raise that lust is not an emotion felt by a true ladies, and since she has been raised to be a lady she has not and will not let herself feel such an emotion. Also some men may have the same view that he wants to marry a lady and forces his wife or wife to be to wear this emotional straight jacket. Oh it can be so rewarding to be the corrupter and liberate such a woman from her self-imposed emotional straight jacket. So as a man do not be the one who forces her to continue to live in her emotional straight jacket when it can be so rewarding to be the corrupter.
Some people have suggested that seduction between a man and a woman as sort of a dance, like that of geese etc. I agree it is. Only with people it is not a dance of physical movement but one of emotion. If her dance step is one of tenderness your (the man’s) dance step cannot be one of lust. But you must meet her dance step with the same emotion. And you cannot do that unless you (the man) is capable of feel the emotion of tenderness. Also then later as you both become closer, she need to feel free to move on to lust without feeling she will loss you because in that state she may do things which are not lady like.
So to all readers of this blog, go out there and have a ball. But first make sure you know and can feel the base emotions of the love dance. That is tenderness and lust.