To Nina, I agree wholeheartedly with you. Everyone needs and deserves Love; Everyone! It is often hard to see your own shortcomings, but we all have them. Of course, me too! So badly sometimes I could laugh at myself if I weren't already crying for being such a fool)))! So, how to solve this problem of the inevitable surprises;... be more tolerant! It really helps. Undoubtedly as Nina says, we all have in the backs of our minds, if not in the front, some idea of who this King or Queen of our life will be, or be like. Ha! I can tell you now, you'll not ever be 100% right and sometimes, you may wonder, ' what on Earth was I thinking?' The greatest love organ we possess is our brain, hard to believe and even harder to use, but it's true. Follow your heart? Oh no, you're in trouble already! Admittedly, the heart will open the ball for you, but please think about the life you're about to change first.
Please be tolerant! The other person is not you, or even a clone, so there will be major differences. Will you accept them with the her or him, your heart is advocating? Think with your brain, decide what you will accept or not accept, before you make statements of undying love. It's okay to love the other person even if he/she is not right for you for life. God knows I love almost everyone, and whom I don't love, I accept for who they are. It's better for me this way, and who has to live with me? Only me, so far, Whoa, could something be really wrong with me? I'm now sure that for some women, something is really wrong with me. Now do I change it, will I still be me if I do? Will I be happy with this change and will I really be a better all around person. Change is hard and takes a lot of work, but so does every relationship, yes, every relationship. We all surely have to compromise at times, even with ourselves at times. Can you do it? Can you be tolerant with yourself, then why not others? You know, I've come to the conclusion, that since we're all dealing with the opposite gender, we need to be more than tolerant. Maybe we should expect major differences in the beginning and be happy, even ecstatic when only small ones appear). It's a whole lot easier to become happy with someone else that way. I was fortunate having the Mom I had. She taught me early on to both love and respect all women, to help any that I could, whenever I could, and to treat children and animals the same way, with respect! It has both helped me and hurt me in some way all my life, but I could never say, "Mom, you were wrong!" For certainly, for me, she was so right! And I have never been happier than when helping some lady who truly needed a hand. And the grateful looks in their eyes, will melt you, no matter how hard you are. I'll tell you men, we do not realize what our ladies go through in this life, and by God, they deserve all the help we can give them. We entered into a partnership with them and we should really be partners, full partners I could go on forever, but 'nuff said' I rest my case. So, in summation, expect major differences and be pleased with the smaller ones. But no matter what, be tolerant of each other! None of us are perfect, but if we're treated fairly, maybe we could become so, with a few minor changes. The word,'together', to me is the one best word in the world. It signifies what we all want in one word, someone to be with, a family all together, even a family of two is wonderful and so much better than ever being alone, yes? With two, sorrows are halved and happiness is doubled, at least!
In Love and Hope,
Ray!