I received a note from a very lovely young lady, SangriaMaria, asking me to read and comment on her blog posting "What a Woman Wants..." I was initially going to write to her directly, but then I thought that she is expressing universal feelings, at least in my experience, and that my response might be useful to all the women on this site. Firstly, I want to apologize to Sangria as it is not my intent to criticize or belittle. Only to attempt to correct some general misperceptions that exist.
Let us begin with some facts: In virtually every study that has ever been done on the subject men are better off financially, emotionally, and every other way ever measured single, than they are in relationships with women. Sorry ladies it is true! The exception is longevity, men live longer when they are married. Women on the other hand are better off in every measure when they are in relationship than when they are single. So Men get the short end of the stick from the get go when they are in relationship with a Woman. Knowing these facts, now read the blog again as posted by Sangria. Would any man want to be in relationship with this laundry list of wants by his Woman? As those of you know who have read my profile I was married before for 11 years, and I have had several long term relationships with women. So I can say from experience that none of the things posted in Sangria's blog do anything to make a woman happy!! Happiness, contentment, and the like are choices, they are not a reaction to your current circumstances. Men, contrary to common belief, are not stupid. If all we had to do were the things listed in the blog, flower stores around the world would be empty! Men by and large want their loved one to be happy. But as stated before, happiness is a choice made by an individual. There is nothing that I can do to make you happy women! This Cinderella complex that has infected women needs to be extinguished if you are ever going to be contented in this life.
My Father gave me some advice, he said "as a young man you want a woman with a nice body. But when you are contemplating marriage you want a woman with a nice face. Remember, the first thing that you will see in the morning and last thing that you will see at night is her face so you better like looking at it!" Now like his sentiments or not he makes a good point, men are pretty easy to satisfy. Again speaking from experience, a man pretty much just wants to wake in the morning and not want to immediately kill the person sleeping with him. Women are far more complex and demanding. And, my question to you is why? Can you not simply appreciate the fact that your man is fighting every instinct in his body just to come home to you every evening? Then after working all day he gets to deal with your hormones, your moods, your petty jealousies at offenses of your friends.... Do you not see the picture now? Then you want us to believe that a hug, and a kind word to you is going to make you smile, and happy?
My younger brother has not said many intelligent things in his life, but when I was going through my divorce he said one of the most insightful things that I have ever heard. "We do not ask for 50-50 in our relationship. We would be happy with 80-20. But, for heaven's sake give us our 20%!"
I will leave you with the best advice that my time on this Earth has given me, there are 2 kinds of people. Happy people, and miserable people. Happy people are happy despite their circumstances, miserable people are unhappy regardless of their circumstances. Take a good long look in the mirror and figure out which one you are. Because miserable people can not stand happy people, and happy people will not tolerate miserable people. If you are currently a miserable person, having a partner in life will not change you. You have to make a conscious decision to be happy, and practice it. Let's face it for many people it does not come naturally. All of us have seen what kind of couples 2 miserable people make. Don't be miserable. Take responsibility for your own happiness, then share it with another happy person, and your life will be complete. With love to you all, 1niceone.