I would like to share my theory of intimacy. Intimacy falls into three types. There are physical, emotional and intellectual intimacies. As people, we are capable of sharing one or all of these with many different people. When you find someone who you can share all three intimacies, you have found something special. The first, physical intimacy is the most obvious and easiest to explain. From the subtlety of touching someone else’s hand to all out wild sex, it is two bodies in contact with each other. I limit to 2 people, because for me, there isn’t intimacy if there is more than two people. Some can argue that point, but for me there is no true intimacy if you are physical with more than one person. Some may enjoy it, but it lacks actual intimacy in my mind. Emotional intimacy is much more complicated. As a male, we seem to be less aware of emotional intimacy than women. It is not a concept exclusive to women, but it seems to be a stronger driver among women. Many will tell you that there is no physical intimacy without emotional intimacy. I believe emotional intimacy is the core to any relationship whether it is romantic, friendship, or familial. Emotional intimacy is simply the emotional connection that people share with each other. Through sharing experiences together, sharing past emotional experiences in conversation, or other experiences bring people emtionally close to each other. Intellectual intimacy is most difficult to comprehend, but more common in our lives. It is the ability to share thoughts with someone and know that your thoughts are understood, contemplated and responded to by someone else. Now, we are attracted to someone who perceives our thoughts as valid and shared. It is difficult to have long term intellectual intimacy with someone who disagrees with your core beliefs. Eventually, it becomes exhausting to have an intellectual closeness with someone who doesn’t share your believes. More often you don’t establish a intellectual intimacy with someone with different views than you own. As a young idealist, I often sought out people with completely different views than my own for the purpose of intellectual debate. Older and wiser, I now value my time more and reserve that space for someone who supports my believes. For a strong romantic relationship to be created and survive, all three intimacies need to thrive. Each is as important as the other. Without the physical, emotional and intellectual connection with someone a romantic relationship is lacking. If one intimacy is lost, it can effect the other intimacies and the overall relationship. The loss of one, can end a relationship. Each needs to be given time and nurtured to be successful.