It would seem that here is incomprehensible. Emotions are our reaction to the world around us. How can we influence them? Something nice happens - rejoice. When no luck, someone offended, the beloved did not understand, there is not enough money - we are upset. Real kindness or fake mi-mi-mi? That is, the majority believes that they are “guilty” of the fact that we are worried, afraid, offended, feel obligated, largely external factors. Now, if everyone loved us, we would live on a desert island, never travel by public transport, then, they would say, it would be a solid positive. This is not entirely true. In fact, almost every healthy emotion has its alien, fake double-parasite. And if we do not learn to distinguish “our” feelings from those inspired, it will be easy for us to spoil the mood. And it is just as easy to drag into unnecessary clarification of relationships, impose a sense of guilt, make you feel ungrateful. That is, it is one thing when we sincerely want to help someone and do it. And then we experience pleasure and a sense of self-worth. And quite another - when they want to pity us, talking about the disadvantaged, disabled, sick children, abandoned animals. We, realizing that we cannot help all of them, feel powerless, desperate and guilty for somehow managing our life. If you are angry - do not be offended The offended, as a rule, are infantile, dependent, people with low self-esteem - those who cannot get angry People often ask me how to learn to forgive. You do not need to be offended for this. Sounds utopian? This is only at first glance. For example, your partner did something contrary to expectations. Say he didn’t call back when he promised. You are angry with him. But hide it so as not to show that it hurt you. Or so as not to seem too demanding and not discourage him from the desire to do business with you at all. That is, instead of giving free rein to natural emotion - anger, you absorb it. And he grows into his malicious double - resentment. As we know from our own experience, hidden grievances accumulate. And one day, not quite a beautiful day, the pure energy of anger is released, destroying the fragile structure of inharmonious relationships. Offended, as a rule, are infantile, dependent, people with low self-esteem. That is, those who cannot afford to get angry. A very common tandem is fear and anxiety. The ability to be afraid of something is information from our distant ancestors about the danger to life. It is absolutely natural that we are afraid of heights, darkness, symptoms of any diseases and the like. But when we, barely turning on the computer or TV, learn about the many disasters and accidents, and so every day, then we are in a state of permanent unconscious anxiety. And if you can get rid of the fear of something specific by abandoning risky actions. That anxiety, inspired from the outside with a premonition that something bad could happen to us and our loved ones, is so constant that we no longer even distinguish it from other states. We just live with the feeling ... Conscience is when you decide what actions are acceptable to you in terms of morality. While shame usually "includes" public opinion. But people's ideas about what we wear, talk with whom to meet, do not always coincide with ours. Therefore, if your actions do not harm others, get rid of the false desire to meet the expectations of others. The need to be thankful and the sense of eternal duty also needs to be learned to distinguish if you do not want to ruin your life. Indeed, to thank for someone's good is a completely healthy intention. Here you are the subject. Unlike the state of a psychological debtor. Just because your parents, relatives, and former partners expect this from you. Because it’s so convenient for them to keep you on the hook of unpaid guilt. Envy parasitizes on the pursuit of excellence, the basic distrust of the world - on children's ideas about universal justice.