I humbly believe this post is in the interest of all women, and men, on this site. / This is from THE MAN'S GUIDE TO WOMEN, by Julie Schwatrz Gottman, PhD, John Gottman, PhD, Rachel Carlton Abrams, MD, Douglas Abrams, with Lara Love Hardin, 2016 / Understanding a Woman / Dating a Woman / Romancing a Woman / Making Love to a Woman / Living with a Woman / Loving a Woman for a Lifetime / These are not recipes, but maybe good ideas. Women, you are, of course, the best judges! Please let us know. / Understanding a Woman / 1. WHAT DO WOMEN REALLY WANT? Understanding the Heart of a Woman / WHAT WOMEN WANT MOST: TRUSTWORTHINESS. Number one thing women want from you is trustworthiness. You demonstrate trustworthiness by being who you say you are and doing what you say you are going to do. You show up and you show up as yourself. / THE SECRET OF TRUSTWORTHINESS: ATTUNEMENT. Women need to feel emotionally connected and emotionally safe. This happens through attunement. When a woman wants to connect with you, especially when she’s upset about something, you A-TT-U-N-E: You Attend to her, you physically Turn Toward her, you seek to Understand her by asking questions, you Nondefensively listen, and you Empathize by accepting and affirming her emotions. / DON’T BEAT YOUR CHEST. Women also need to feel physically safe with you. A good man never uses his size or his voice to intimidate a woman or make a point. A lack of physical safety is a deal breaker with women. / TRUSTWORTHINESS = LESS FIGHTING AND MORE S**. When a woman feels emotionally connected to you and when you demonstrate your trustworthiness, the result is less fighting and more s**. Win-Win-WIN. / 2. A MIND OF HER OWN The Art of Understanding a Woman’s Brain / RHYTHMICITY. Understand the effect of hormones on the day-to-day emotional state of a woman. Know that these influences are different in every woman and will change in a woman as she goes through different stages of her life. Her s** drive and what she needs from you will also change depending on where she is in her cycle. Ask questions to find out what she needs. / FEAR. Women experience fear differently than men. Women are more easily fear conditioned, meaning that if you both go through a fearful experience, she will be twice as likely to feel fear again in a similar situation. Offering comfort to a woman when she is afraid can immediately shut down her brain’s fear response. That is, of course, assuming she’s happy with you. If she’s unhappy with you, your comfort may not be effective. / Dating a Woman / 3. READ MY HIPS Understanding Women and Attraction / Women are attracted to confidence and high status (I'm not too sure of this (high status)). Become the best “you” possible and exhibit the nonverbal behaviors that indicate social dominance, such as space maximization, male-to-male touching, relaxation, and looking into her eyes and smiling. Avoid fidgeting, poor posture, folding your arms across your chest, or crossing your legs at the knee (I'm not too sure of this). / Women control whether men approach them by exhibiting a series of nonverbal cues and indicators. Learn the signs that indicate she’s interested. / She repeatedly glances at you and looks away. / She leans toward you while talking. / She points in your direction with her leg, foot, or shoulders (I'm not too sure of this). / She plays with or tosses her hair. / She fidgets with a piece of jewelry (like an earring) or strokes the stem of her glass. / 4. FIRST IMPRESSIONS Do's and Don'ts of Dating / Ask open-ended questions. / Be authentic, but try to speak in your lowest register if your natural voice sounds a bit like Mickey Mouse on helium (Ha! Ha!). / Create safety in conversations by being a good listener. / Put the woman at the center of any conversation or date. / Look into her eyes and match her gestures in a natural and easy way. / Briefly touch her forearm when you ask her to dance, ask for her number, or ask her on a date. Be creative when planning your first date. Think of something adventurous, playful, or exciting to do. / Be a gentleman—open doors, pull out her chair. / Be protective and confident. / Romancing a Woman / 5. MAKING YOUR MOVE The Science of Seduction / Pheromones are chemical signals that lead to attraction and a sense of well-being when you are with someone who just “smells right.” / A woman’s sense of smell is much more acute than a man’s, and your pheromones will smell right to some women and not to others. It’s not personal. / You do have control over your non-pheromone-related smell. Practice good hygiene accordingly. / A bad first kiss is a relationship killer.