Men and women both get angry with the same frequency, but differ in how they manage their anger. / Women get angry because of powerlessness, injustice, or the irresponsibility of others. / Men get more physiologically aroused during conflict than women do. This makes men less able to handle conflict with humor, empathy, and understanding. / Men are evolutionarily wired to be hypervigilant, aggressive, and to go on the attack if they are being threatened. / You can learn to downregulate your anger by remembering to breathe, counting to 10, and taking a break. / If your partner is criticizing you, she is in pain. Your job is to find out the source of her pain by asking three questions: 1. What do you need? 2. What are you concerned about? 3. What are you feeling? / 11. WHY DOES IT TAKE SO LONG TO BUY A PAIR OF SHOES? (Understanding the Evolutionary Importance of Shopping) / Shopping is in a woman’s DNA. Women have had to be good foragers since the dawn of time. Lives depended on it. / Most, but not all, women love to shop. It is an expression of their creativity and a positive and social experience for them. / Women make about 85 percent of the buying decisions for the household. / Shopping requires a keen memory, and women have better memories than men. / Men shop the way their ancestors hunted—get in, make the kill, get out. Women connect and create relationships around their shopping. / If you hate to shop, don’t go. / Research shows that the degree to which a woman is clothes-conscious is a long-term predictor of marital success. / Don’t complain if she spends a lot of time shopping for shoes—specifically high heels (maybe). / 12. BEST FRIENDS FOREVER Understanding Women and Friendship / Women are more socially connected than men. / Female humans and primates form social groups to ensure their survival and the survival of their offspring. / Women tend and(?) befriend when experiencing stress, and this releases oxytocin and reduces their stress response. / The more friends a woman has, the more health benefits she experiences. / Women who are socially isolated have a 66 percent increased risk of dying prematurely from any cause. / Men typically turn to their wives or partners for their social support, but women typically turn to their female friends. / A hallmark of domestic violence is a man feeling threatened by a woman’s friends and attempting to control or limit a woman’s social contacts, or to isolate her socially. / Think of your partner’s female friends as supporting you in supporting your partner. / Encourage your partner to join a women’s group or seek out friends if she feels she is lacking in female friendships. / You live longer if you are married or have a long-term partner. She lives longer if she has female friends. You live longer if she lives longer. Encourage her female friendships. / Women have a huge capacity for friendship and a need to connect with others, as well as an unlimited capacity for love. / Loving a Woman for a Lifetime / 13. IS SHE THE ONE? Understanding Women and Commitment / Men want commitment just as much as women do. / Most men know when a woman is “the one.” There has to be an inherent rightness for a woman to be the one—she has to smell right, feel right, taste right, and look right. / There are three stages of love, and the stages are very selective. You can’t just fall in love with anyone, and you can’t make it work with everyone. / Stage one (limerence) usually lasts a few months and is not the time to decide if a woman is the one. / Stage two is about trust and knowing if you’ll be there for each other. / The third stage of love is about loyalty and commitment. / Married men live longer, make more money, and are healthier than men who choose to live with a woman but stay unmarried. / You don’t need to have similar likes and dislikes to work as a couple, but you do need to be compatible in how you handle conflict and express emotions and affection. / You will know she’s the one if she makes you feel like you are your best self, and you feel more alive, adventurous, joyful, and loved when you are with her. / Finding the one and making a commitment are about doing what it takes to make a relationship last. / 14. MOTHER NATURE Understanding Women and Children / If you want to truly understand a woman, you have to understand and support her role as a mother. She has a biological drive to bond with her child and ensure her child’s survival. This isn’t about her not loving you or you not being as important to her. / As a woman becomes a mother, she needs you more than ever, and..