Dear ladies, The first thing I want to make clear is that I don’t hate children. They are just not for me. My reason has nothing to do with the child and everything to do with the mother. Over the years of my life I have seen many happy couples suddenly fall apart and divorce after the birth of a child. It’s not instantaneous but it happens often now days. There is a simple reason for this that seems to go unseen. A couple that are truly in love will always say that their mate is the most important person in the world to them. Men and women both feel this when it’s true love. After a time it is common that the woman will want a child and the man will agree because he loves her so much that if it makes her happy, he is happy. During the pregnancy and after the birth little changes because they are both so busy. But over time the woman he loved and would give is life for has vanished and he is now married to a mother, not a lover. He is no longer the center of her universe and that is a difficult thing for anyone to take. To be pushed aside to make room for a new love for his woman. Some men can accept this and turn there attention to their career or to sports to fill their lives where their lover once was. Other men will quickly begin to look for a new lover. Or going straight to divorce. In the reasons for that divorce they never admit that it was having a child that caused it, not for being a child but for the woman becoming a mother instead of a lover. I was married and in love with the same woman for 43 years and two months before her unexpected death I did something that made her very happy. We were having coffee and I sat in the living room on the sofa and when she entered the room I asked her to sit on my lap as I often did. She sat their and we talked and drank our coffee and I told her something that had always been true our entire marriage. I told her that nothing in the world feel as good to me as holding her in my arms. I had never told her this before and she had the biggest smile and kissed me passionately. We never had children because neither of us wanted children. Wh had discussed it early in our relationship and had agreed. I had a vasectomy and we never regretted not having children. We were inseparable and had a very happy life together. Yes there were times when we didn’t like each other but we were always best friends and lovers and that was what was important. One time my wife’s mother told her that I spoiled her and she only smiled. She knew that and I knew that and I did it because she was the center of my universe and I loved her deeply. We always did things for each other that others thought was overboard and excessive but for us it was just an amazing love that was the reason. We were never lonely and we never wished that we had children. We were soul mates and we had not need for children to fulfill our lives. I know that a man and a woman can be very happy for a very long time without having children. I still have no need to have children. And there are a couple of questions that you should ask yourselves before you choose to have children. For the man, ask yourself, if your woman and your child were trapped in a burning building and you could only save one or the other, which one would you save? For the women the question is basically the same would you save your man or your child? When you answer these questions do not consider what your partner would want you to do. Think about your answer carefully. Now how important is your partner to you? I ask only that you think about it. For me the answer is obvious. I would always save my woman even knowing that she would most likely hate me for letting our child die. I choose love of my lady over having children. Mike