It is tough not to remember your love on a day like today - when everyone around has big plans and appreciating the love they have with that exceptional person. You hope for miracles, and you pray. But, you know, such are the days when they are over; they remind you that not everyone thinks of you the way you feel about them. Some people have other priorities and have other things that matter to them more than their love. With me, I wanted the person, the whole person, to myself. The person wished for many other things but not me. I wasn't the person for whom he would leave the world behind. His world was crashing the person I was. It kept me under constant fear - what next will he do now - the fear made me control him. When I set him free, he did everything from lying - manipulation - to love other things. I remember all of this and tell myself I don't deserve to be treated like this for loving someone with all my heart. My happiness only depended on him and so moving on was very difficult for me. I did not have distractions, friends, flings, habits, or otherworldly interests to keep me occupied. It left a big void, and I filled it up with all of myself. I invested all the energy in myself. I was just one of the other things in his life. I was on his mind when he had no distractions, friends, flings, social media, habits, etc. He thought of me then, and when he did for that little while, he felt I destroyed him. I am hopeless romantic, and everyone around told me we crave the kind of love you have for that person. I thought of us more than he could ever imagine. I don't live for the world, the things, the friends, the attention, I live for the people I love. The way I moved on was by giving him what he wanted. I gave him all he desired. It's difficult to not think of what could have been, but its more comfortable to live knowing at least one of us got what we wanted. You start living for the people who love you unconditionally. I focused my love on my family, for the people who cared and were willing to do anything to keep me happy. I focus on making things better for the unfortunate; I focus my time on volunteering. When you look at the pain around you, you realize what you have been feeling is nothing compared to some of the pains people experienced. You will learn to live with the pain. For me, it is worth it, because I know what to look forward and how much of me to invest in someone. I wouldn't change the way I love, I love people with all my heart, I don't break promises, I keep my words, and my actions speak louder than my words. How are you learning to live without the person you once died for? Victoria