The Good Girl. That oh-so elusive Good Girl.
We all know the Good Girl.
The Good Girl is considerate, kind, understanding, a good listener, a go-to friend, a shoulder to cry on, never not has a smile on her face, always follows through with plans, completely selfless, and has no conflict EVER!
And most of all, the “Good Girl” convinces you that everyone is supposed to like you.
Here’s a secret though.
The Good Girl lies.
She lies because the hard truth is that you can’t please everybody, no matter how hard you try. If you continue to strive towards this unreachable goal, you will only exhaust and disappoint yourself.
It’s a lesson that didn’t sink in with me for a long time. I used to be so afraid that even having one person not like me, or showing a crack in my perfectly composed armor, made me a horrible person. It made believe I was a failure. For so long, I thought that the only solution to not feel this way would be if I worked towards being the Good Girl 24/7.
This equation didn’t work for long. The pressure to be perfect sent me spiraling daily. I was never happy with where I was with myself — I always thought I had to be more. I couldn’t celebrate how far I had come because it never felt like enough, unless people told me it was enough.
And then, one day, amid the frustrations and breakdowns, I had a clicking moment where I suddenly wondered what I was actually working towards by chasing after the Good Girl. I started to see how following this mindset was really hurting me and not helping me, despite what I had convinced myself for so long.
I realized that listening to myself and making mistakes had a bigger payoff than constantly reaching for fabricated goodness.
I no longer wanted to be angry at myself for not meeting unrealistic expectations. I decided that I wanted more depth to my character than just being the Good Girl.
When this change in my mindset began, I started to find a love and appreciation for everything I really brought to the table.
I strive to be a good person. I learn more about myself every day, and how I can work towards being a more positive and kind woman. I still slip up though, because I’m still figuring her out.
And that’s completely and utterly human.
Thank you for reading!
Olesya