We live in a complicated world especially now that we have limited human contact from the virus. Meeting online has become the new normal. I would say that it has it’s pluses and minuses. Being able to meet people from virtually anywhere in the world is a huge plus; something that was not available to me in my younger years. There are also minuses. It seems very difficult to get people out of their comfort zones to talk in real life, which leads to drawn out text conversations where we mere humans try to fill in the blanks. And when we do such things we are inevitably wrong because it is impossible to know much about a person without meeting or hearing them speak over the phone. Despite the anxieties that this medium of conversation gives me, I try my best to connect and ultimately reserve my judgment until we meet face to face.

Another minus of the online dating world is people’s inability to outright reject someone with a reason and with compassion. I have been guilty of this and I also have been a victim as well. The feature to block someone on a dating app has it’s function; there are a lot of people who can write vile things and send unwanted images. I take no issue with the need for the allowance of blocking other members who are harassing others. Where I do have issue - and it is the reason I decided to write this post - is when you are blocked for no apparent reason. It was like a shot to the gut to find out today that the woman I had significant interest in blocked me and I have to ponder the reason why.

Maybe I did not respond to her letter in the time she expected? Maybe it was the fact that we haven’t been able to chat live for a couple of days and she took this to heart thinking I had lost interest; that was hardly the case. Maybe she found someone else who she connected better with? If this were true it would be saddening but if I new I wouldn’t be stuck in limbo. Maybe it was something different altogether.

In the end there were reasons for my recent distance with this woman and none of it had to do with her. She was lovely and I was always honest and forthcoming with her. We had a very interesting correspondence with each other that was seemingly turning into a beautiful friendship. I wish her the best even though I am hurt about what has transpired, and I will eventually forgive because I would only be doing myself a disservice if I don’t. I will always be left to ponder what happened though.

Thank you for reading my thoughts,

Sam