I have been a Fireman and Paramedic my entire adult life 30+ years, currently I have been called out of retirement due to the covid19 crisis and now the race riots police riots etc! First of all as some on who works in a major city let me honestly say Covid19 is mostly lies and misinformation! In 2 months of working nearly 20 hours a day I have handled 6 covid patients, I ended up getting sick with it and it was no worse than the time I had the flu and it turned into pneumonia, sure at times I wanted and hoped I'd just die but it was not as bad as they (governments and media outlets) report it to be! After about 10 days dealing with that I was back on duty and on one call I was attacked and savagely beaten by black lives matter members simply because I was white had a uniform and badge on! So if any of you ladies who write to me are upset I haven't read or replied please be patient as I recover from this incident! At times it hurts to try and read let alone type a letter, I feel as if I have lost all my faith and hope for humanity too! Basically I am not in a good place and I don't think it would be fair of me to try and bring one of you amazing ladies into my life when it's been turned upside down inside out and sideways by one life altering event! To be honest I don't even know how I feel about things anymore almost like I am broken now! All I know is it has left me with one question I may never find the answer too which is WTF has gone wrong with us all we are all one race, the HUMAN RACE but we're attacking hurting even killing each other for the stupidest reasons! I was only out there to help people and I do not see skin colors I simply see a person who needs help and I have the ability and training to give that help so why me?? I'll be honest I have alot of anger to those who did this but do I now hate all colored people because 4 or 5 tried to kill me? No and as soon as I am cleared I will be right back out there helping my fellow man (and woman)..I will no lose myself or be changed to fit anyone's agenda! Yes it's bad here in many places mainly only big cities which is why I love living in the country! If you read this all thank you for taking your time to do so, I wish everyone here good luck lots of love and the best life possible and know there are people like me who care and will give everything to help in your time of need no matter the cost!