Love, real love will last three years, … that’s a famous quote that many people say, … is it correct? From my perspective it is not correct, … let me explain.


In matters of love, I think nobody can say what is the correct definition, … but, as I say, this is my opinion.


I identify three stages in a romantic relation, but not necessarily will happen all and they will not last the same in all people. Those stages are attraction, infatuation and love.


Definitely, attraction happens when we like someone, … we can feel this attraction due something physical, intellectual, success or any other situation, sometimes it happens after some kind of admiration. I’m not expert in matter of pheromones, but in many cases it’s fault of them.


If someone attracts us and we have any kind of approaching or relation then we could start to feel something deeper, some kind of understanding happens, we cannot stop thinking of her or him. So, if we let this continue, then the feeling and emotions we have is infatuation, but I cannot say it is love.


Infatuation is marvelous, it is magical, the feeling of butterflies in the stomach, when we get blushed just to listen her name, the feeling of electricity thru our body, … but that is only infatuation, and I think it's necessary in the search of real love.


Usually, some chemical reactions happen thru our body doing that our levels of endorphins, oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin rise. So, we feel great, and we are going to relate that feeling of happiness with that person we like.


We can get used to that person and infatuation would end, so, three years later we feel that love have ended.


But LOVE, I strongly believe that LOVE is a decision, it could happen consciously or unconsciously.


We only can say “love” when we realize that we cannot imagine our life without each other, when we feel that a life without each other is hell, we will know that is love when we are willing to give our own lives.


It is love when we like the defects of her or him, it’s too easy if we like his or her virtues, but it’s not easy to like his or her defects, … we are a set of virtues and defects, so if we love a person means that we like his or her set of virtues and defects. If we don't try to change her or his, we are going to love the way she or he is.


Also something curious happens, without asking we are going to try to be better, to correct our defects, not because he or she asks, it will be because we want. Our mate will not ask for changing, but we'll try to do it for her.


I’ve seen that the feeling of love increases with years. When we decide to love for real, this feeling will be free of selfish, without doubts, you will be ready to follow her or him, no matter what …


When we try real love, we will notice that is bigger and more beautiful than infatuation, meanwhile infatuation could decrease thru years, love will increase.


If we feel that love is less thru time, it wasn’t love, it was only infatuation, in some point we didn’t let our heart free to love, we restrained our feelings, we had some doubts in our heart, … if we decide to love, it should be without conditions, without any chain.



John Lennon said, – A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is a reality – Love is dream of many, only become real for few, and it is because they decided to love freely, without doubts, without chains.