funny how words can wreck so many lives , i hate you , i despise you , then its i need you ...

so many times in my life i have had such a event , and all the time i left feeling dejected leaving a relationship behind that had so much potential yet it went wrong cause i wasnt who i was meant to be in that ones eyes , i may not be the best in the world , or have great riches (the lack of being so much in the present rate in time) , but knowing and understanding life in the letters and pages in front of me as i read , gives me cause to wonder what really is in front of me , the future that will be ...its true i am loved , its true i want to be married and happy finally with the one who chose me amongst a million others .. yet i dont understand what is seen in me , i dont understand the logistics of why i am loved , to me i am just me ,on here looking forward to a new and exciting life with the one i love , she does know i love her and i love her for so many reasons , i am sure this is the same for every man finding love , just with me its all very new ..all very raw ...i still think i dont match up or wont have the expectations my love will have with me ...i will always try hard , and maybe fail cause i am not experienced enough ..it worries me a lot what the future has in store ..maybe some scared factor be there , i dont know , but as i write my mind is content knowing i am loved for me

that amongst everything is very rare indeed

im just curious out there what others would think ...and my question is it just me that feels the euphoria that i get , the admiration and upon who i am ? dont get me wrong this isnt insecurity thats long past in the sands of time when i was in my teens finding love for the first time ...

i just am suprised and happy to find love finally and not once i will ever say those words to anyone expecially the one i love cause i will always love her from the good and the bad ..cause to me that always should be what makes a relationship yet alone a marriage work together ..it always should be a team and never one alone doing all the work ...that to me if alone doing everything to make it work is the start of a crumbled life ...

just a insight to my thoughts of course its not like that everyday here