Sexy woman with bright makeup
Sincerity is at the core of a good relationship. It is believed that with a loved one we can talk literally about everything. Is it so? Can you tell your loved one about your sexual fantasies? If yes, then know: people like you are a minority.

Most people find it difficult to talk about their sexual fantasies. This is the result of various studies, including the "Simplified Sex" survey conducted by TNS Healthcare. Talking about sexual fantasies turned out to be a very controversial topic: 50 percent of the men surveyed would like to talk openly about their sexual fantasies. However, only a third of them said they were capable of it.

Talking about sexual fantasies is very important to relationships.
There is hardly anything else that, with the same minimum expenditure of effort, would have such a good effect on relationships: 86% of those surveyed say that talking about sexual fantasies has a beneficial effect on mental state. And 75% believe that sharing their sexual fantasies with a partner means trusting him. Two thirds are convinced that talking about sexual fantasies is important for quality sex.

Why is it so hard for us to talk about sex? Ten percent of the respondents admitted that they would like to talk about it, but hesitate. What is the reason? Fear that they will not be understood? Bad experience?

Not all sexual fantasies find interested listeners - most people do not want to know about their partner's intimate erotic desires. “Often behind the ostentatious lack of interest is the fear that we will not be able to satisfy our partner's sexual fantasies. In the conversation, discrepancies can be found that create an insurmountable barrier between two people. At the same time, the purpose of such conversations is just the opposite - to break the ice. Despite the fact that the media daily stuff us with erotica in one form or another, talking openly about sex with your partner is one of the most intimate things in a relationship. Anyone who decides to do this expects to find respect and understanding from the partner and the relationship will only benefit from this - whether in the form of a compromise or the realization of specific fantasies, ”says Wiebke Neberich, an expert in the field of relationship psychology.

Missed opportunities due to unexpressed sexual fantasies
The Theratalk study from the University of Göttingen shows the effects of silence in bed. The study involved 2,330 heterosexual couples, who were questioned in detail about their sexual fantasies and what sexual fantasies of a partner they would be willing to satisfy. The result can be divided into 3 categories: 1) fantasies that have already been realized; 2) fantasies that the partner would agree to satisfy; 3) fantasies that the partner is not ready to satisfy.

Thus, missed opportunities were revealed: 35 percent of men's fantasies were realized by partners and another 36 percent could be satisfied, but men were ashamed to express them. For women, this is 44 percent of realized fantasies versus 40 percent of unspoken fantasies that could be satisfied. In other words, about twice as many fantasies could be realized if couples started talking openly about them. This would not only add variety to the sex life, but also keep many from the temptation to cheat.

Unrealized sexual fantasies are the reason for cheating
This is the conclusion reached by the Göttinges psychologist Ragnar Beer as a result of a survey of men and women who cheated on their partner. At the same time, 80 percent say that they love their permanent partner very much. So it's not about feelings. At the same time, exactly the same number of respondents explains the betrayal by dissatisfaction. About 85 percent of women and 79 percent of men complained that they didn’t get what they wanted in bed at home. Why is this so?

Only 31 percent of unfaithful women and one-fourth of unfaithful men spoke to their loved ones about sexual fantasies. An even gloomier picture is presented by the cheated: only 27 percent of men and 14 percent of women talked with their partner about what they like in bed. And after they learned about the betrayal, there were no significant changes. Although, it would seem, in such situations, couples should try their best to find out what their problems are and get rid of them. However, two-thirds of couples remained silent, exacerbating the situation.

Fear of rejection prevents talk about sexual fantasies
“The fear of our partner reacting, plus our tightness, leads to the fact that many couples do not talk about sex at all,” explains psychologist Wiebke Neberich.

There is nothing strange about this: after all, we are talking about the most intimate side of our personality. To talk about such things is not so about