Love, in the general sense, is a surge of the heart that carries us towards a being. Poets, writers and even religious have sublimated Love by giving it a supernatural origin.

Philosophers, in the field of social philosophy and ethics, attempt to explain the nature of love. Their investigation of love seeks to distinguish between different kinds of love; wonders if and how love is/can be justified; questions the value of love as well as the relationships between loved ones. It is difficult to analyze love, a full day or week debate is not enough to grasp it, because talking about it is no longer doing it: it is experienced first, we only think about it afterwards. It is not because it is inexplicable that it is unknown. Love is like happiness: in the feeling, formidable. We have it in ourselves. Basically, the fact that it is experienced intensely in communion indicates that it can be understood as the ability to relate.

Psychologists reduce its definition to the inclination towards a person or even an object considered as good, when moralists will just say that it is the tendency against selfishness.

I personally like the approach of neuroscientists to describe the biological mechanisms of the "falling in Love" feeling. At least, it is based on real and verifiable facts, and it demonstrates that it indeed EXISTS.

In a nutshell: the passion and euphoria caused by emerging romantic feelings ("butterflies in your stomach") are linked to the production of an explosive cocktail of hormones that have effects like those of drugs when we "fall in love". Mainly they are Dopamine, Adrenaline (also called Epinephrine), and Noradrenaline (also called Norepinephrine).

The feeling of euphoria is triggered by dopamine. While the rapid heartbeat and insomnia are linked to the production of adrenaline and norepinephrine. This triggers more testosterone (in men and women) to be produced. It is this hormone that is responsible for the renewed desire for sex even though all the positive feelings that love brings make us want to be closer to each other as well on a psychologic point of view. Anytime and anywhere sex cravings take over. Sexual acts are therefore more frequent. Even people who usually have low libido will notice a spike in the early stages of a relationship.

When love is there and the relationship is nurtured (because the effect is not as immediate as with testosterone, our brains increasingly secrete phenylethylamine (PEA), also called "love amphetamine" and which has a lasting effect because it takes time to be eliminated from the system. This substance has a stimulating and exciting effect. It is also responsible for this irrepressible urge to be constantly with the loved one or to hear from them very often. Finally, the AEP can skew our way of seeing things. Consequently, we tend to idealize the couple.

Oxytocin, the pleasure hormone, also comes in after each orgasm because it strengthens the bond with the other. It is secreted by the brain during orgasm in men and women, with for women an additional function during childbirth and breastfeeding.

Finally, dopamine, the hormone responsible for addictions, is very present during love. When a person falls in love, the part of the brain that plays a role in the reward circuit is overstimulated. As a result, the presence of the loved one is seen as a reward and provides a lot of pleasure. Conversely, his/her absence will be seen as a great void.

Comes the BIG question: how long does this "Love" last if it is only a biological mechanism?

The euphoria and excitement will wear off over time. There is no "Expiration date" but they can be said to last anywhere from 6 months to a year (try to remember the last time you felt it and you will see it is pretty accurate). Some specialists go up to 3 years.

Note that the disappearance of this early euphoria does not happen at the same time for both members of the couple. Therefore, there is often a period when one of the two is more "intense" than the other.

Once the cocktail of hormones wears off, the decision to stay with the person or not is more rational because it is no longer influenced by chemicals produced by the brain, and we can say THIS IS TRUE LOVE as it is necessarily based on the compatibility of the two lovers over the different levels of existence (identity, value, interests, physical and intellectual performance, etc.).

I tend to believe that two experienced and mature persons who are on this site should seek for this compatibility first as it is the only chance for a relation to satisfy both parties on the long run… My rational approach is not due to desperation or disillusion, in fact I still STRONGLY believes in passion and the expression of the libido, we can even work on it with some foreplays ;). I just know that our brain can play us, therefore I prefer to be aware of it.

So, I will take time to choose and being chosen wisely…

Though, taking time doesn’t mean I will perform an endless correspondence, it just means that as soon as the Covid19 travel restrictions and quarantines measure will be over in my country and in Ukraine or Russia, I will meet in real-life a short selection of compatible person and with HOPE we will start ONLY ONE and LAST story.

Note the pictures is a paint I did long ago and named "Pandora"... To show you that I am not just a rational scientist and businessman, I also enjoy the pleasure of art!