In a few letters, I received some interesting questions and comments on my last blog. It is great as when letters are really personalized and are clearly referring to my post or to my profile details, at least, I know they are not rapid copy-past prefab letters (one of the criteria for me to finalize the list of the wonderful and respectful ladies I will very soon directly communicate with)!

Among them, someone wrote that hormones mainly depend on our brain activities and that I should clarify this fact to be complete, which is the intent of that following up at least for the sequence in the brain that bring to that desired feeling: “I LOVE YOU”.

All the initial hormonal avalanche I described in the last post, and the maintenance of the feeling of love, are indeed partly explained by the activation of many areas of the brain.

1. The hippocampus digs through our memories
From start, our brain wants to know if the one we met is going to make us feel good. Therefore, it compares this one’s face to those, beneficial or not, of our past. The hippocampus and other brain regions that store memories of our lives and the specific emotions associated with them do this work.

2. The orbitofrontal cortex (OFC) gives the green light
Located just behind the forehead, it assesses how much we like the person, depending, among other things, on the information transmitted by the hippocampus. If all the signals are green, it activates multiple regions of the brain, which will take charge of the rest of the operations.

3. The ventral tegmental area lifts our brakes
Solicited by the OFC, this region, associated with the substantia nigra, will flood the brain with dopamine. A powerful messenger of desire, this hormone particularly stimulates the areas associated with decision-making. That’s what is encouraging us to express our feelings and make a step ahead.

4. The hypothalamus fills us with happiness
After the first contacts (caresses, kisses, sexual intercourse ...), this region releases endorphins, which give us a feeling of well-being, even euphoria. It also sends the empathy (cuddle) hormone, the oxytocin, into our bodies. This reinforces our desire to live a sustainable history.

5. The prefrontal cortex erases the imperfections of this ONE you are now “loving”
Magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) scans have shown that passionate love partially deactivates areas of the brain associated with negative emotions and judgments, particularly in the median prefrontal cortex, amygdala, and temporal lobes. Result: in vain friends or girlfriends may tell us that our darling is the worst on earth, we will not notice it!

6. The nucleus accumbens makes you addicted to THE other
Indeed, “Love” feeling acts like a drug. Comparing the brains of people in love with those of drug addicts under the influence of cocaine or opiates, scientists noted that identical areas are activated, including the nucleus accumbens. This set of neurons plays a central role in the reward circuit. They push us to reproduce what gives us pleasure. This is why we need so much to see the loved one again and again...

I can write more on the topic as no less than 12 areas of the brain work together to produce hormones responsible for euphoria in love, such as dopamine, oxytocin, adrenaline and vasopressin. Each step - seduction, passion, attachment ... - involves complex circuits. As for exemple, when we like a person, our hypothalamus secretes testosterone, which stirs up desire, and causes the release of dopamine, the neurotransmitter of pleasure and reward. At the first sexual intercourse, luliberine takes over. Unlike testosterone, it needs stimuli to be made. It is that substance that will make us want to continue intercourse until orgasm ...

A lot of this process is unconscious but knowing it and learning about it helps to (1.) relativize and focus on fundamental values in order to wisely chose that special and unique ONE LOVE, and to an extend (2.) to exercise on a partial control of this whole process as being aware of it somehow influences the result itself. I personally think that the deep “falling in love” feeling is a wonderful cherry on the cake, but it can be just eaten in a single bite, when the cake itself will give us a mouthful pleasure way longer, bite after bite…

For the readers who do not see a direct and profitable outcome from this post, I will just give 2 tips as a takeaway:

- When you post or share some photos of yourself, better to post pictures that reflects real life situation to stimulate positive and kind memories rather than photos that just stimulates a deviant side, except if you are looking for sexual passion only. It will more efficiently initiate the whole sequence I described here before (see point 1.).

- If no fireworks at start but you really really appreciate and believe in this SPECIAL ONE, then you can take a short cut to point (4.) and ask for oxytocin prescription to your Doctor… Oxytocin is a sexual neurotransmitter for lovers. It has been demonstrated that it improves masculine libido and it is a natural alternative to Viagra (only when the Erectile Dysfunction is mainly due to the lack of desire – I am not saying it is the same molecule and it has not the same physiological effect than Viagra – which, by the way, I do not need yet 😉).

That said, romantism, patience and care will maybe not create an initial explosion of pleasure and deliver that uncontrollable hormonal surge, but it may grant to build an even stronger and durable “love” feeling under which there shall be kindled a burning like the burning of fire. I want to believe in that, and I am seeking for it!

I sincerely wish you to find your wife/husband here and to be happy with your choices!

Thanks again for your interest!

Note: again, on the picture there is a paint I did myself and I offered to a dear friend (not a girlfriend) long ago for her birthday. I am not only found of sciences, I also have an artistic soul!