I finally became a living person. Allowed myself to be wrong, afraid and be sad when I feel sad. I no longer push away moments of weakness and I stopped taking responsibility for everything and everyone. Before, after every conversation, no matter with whom, it seemed to me that I said too much or something that did not correspond to me. But there really was no "me".
There were masks, images behind which I hid my real self, in fear that this “real” me would not be liked by anyone. It is interesting that the more masks I sent to the trash, the more I became "an ordinary person", the more unusual and charisma my friends assigned to me.
Now I am sitting on the couch drinking tea with cookies. Soon I will go to the grocery store for chocolates, so later I can make some more tea, turn on my favorite TV series and relax. We all develop options for protection, test them on society, and when something works, we take them as the only correct model for solving the problem. But if you start to understand, in most cases these models are crooked, rub your feet, press in the collar zone and make us unhappy…