The beauty of a new love is the discovery, the spontaneity of things; there is not yet a prescribed ritual. But in time, the newness wears off. The shines dulls a little. The of a couple can start to teeter on he mundane. Everything is planned. We set our electric roosters to waken us for our daily routine of work and meals, then some chores. Next it’s off to bed to reprise that routine the next day. Then we have the weekend planned out with different events of fun or relaxation to help us escape the the five days of Same Stuff, Different Day (SSDD) We plan our fun to the point of relaxation isn’t real relaxation. It is nothing more than a different routine. This is what we end up calling a rut. We are stuck in that rut for years. And for couples the newness of what made our hearts fall in love has been eroded. How do we overcome that?
The best way to overcome is to be open to spontaneous things in our everyday life. Maybe today, the husband, instead of going on his morning run while his wife sleeps, he instead makes a delicious breakfast while she sleeps. At the time he would normally return from the run, he serves his wife breakfast in bed. Of course he doesn’t stop there. He offers he a body massage to relax her before she starts her day. He then becomes passionate and they are intimate, on a Tuesday, before they start their day. He calls in sick and caters to her needs all day. For no reason other than he wants to continue the newness, the discovery of love. Love can be new everyday. It doesn’t have to be a rut. It can be a groove. Husbands can plan and be the protector, bu he also needs to be the creator of newness, refreshing the love, for the sake of love only. You can be 60 and still discover the newness of love every bit as much as a person of only 20 years.
Sometimes you have to plan the spontaneity. It’s better to know that she has not already planned a day with her mother, daughter, or friend. I you have already started a spontaneous moment, it can be rekindled later if something was missed. That is not to say the only time to be spontaneous is when there are no prior plans. Just be aware of some of the pitfalls of being spontaneous.
If your wife decides to be spontaneous, by all means, allow the the newness of that moment to grow your love with her. Don’t be so wrapped into your needs that the needs of your wife get set aside. Both partners need newness and growth. This happens with the wide eyed look of a child how is seeing the Grand Canyon for the first time. Create those moments of discovery with your lover using spontaneous gestures, moments, and even entire days. Fresh love, spontaneous love, is growing love.