I always wondered how many people there are on the planet and that they are completely different: with different appearance, character, tastes and interests. For someone to be happy is enough to have beloved beside them and someone has a list of necessary components which is longer than one, two, or even more points. Some people prefer romantic relationships; make surprises for beloved ones, write touching sms and constantly use affectionate words. There are others, who don’t recognize all these sentiments, but also love and also in need of a loved one.
Surprisingly, some lovers gladly spend all their spare time together, share common interests, share any secrets, but others need so-called personal space, they don’t spend weekends together and have different hobbies. Relationships among some couples are romantic and carefree; while others are like volcanos explode from time to time, turn any trifle into the stormy clarifying of the relationships.
We can recall a banal phrase, "love is different and each has its own". However, we can try to classify the diversity of relationships and pick out three styles of love.
Escaping love.
The kind of relationship when beloved ones separate and each of them lives its own life. "On weekends" their paths intersect: they meet, pay attention to each other, and then get back to do their business separately.
The main features of escaping love:
* first of all they appreciate personal freedom;
* the main thing is to preserve their independence;
* they spend their free time not only with beloved ones;
* they prefer to find time for friends and hobbies instead of their beloved ones;
* they can’t stand the restrictions, don’t accept the pronoun "we", only "I";
* they don’t like sentimental and affectionate nicknames;
* they don’t think about marriage;
* according to the opinion of others, they part easily and also easily make new relationships, as they’re averse to demonstrate their feelings in public.
Anxious love.
These are relationships which are typical for impressionable, fragile and romantic people. These relationships are the complete opposite of the previous ones.
The main features of anxious love:
* they always want to be together with beloved ones, don’t want to leave even for a second;
* they worry about every trifle and have panic fear about that a beloved one can cease to love;
* they threaten with parting on any occasion, dramatizing the situation in every way;
And later such threats are getting replaced by tears and cries “you don’t love me!”.
Secure love.
This style may seem boring to the representatives of the previous two, but over the years, most likely everyone comes to this style of relationship.
The main features of secure love:
* you trust your partner and don’t quarrel on any occasion;
* you communicate without hints and innuendo;
* you don’t need daily proof of love. You just feel it;
* in conflicts you keep yourself in hand, don’t beat the dishes and don’t throw things of your beloved out of the window;
* you share your victories and defeats, help each other in everything.
Astonishingly, but the separation of relationships on these three types is based on research conducted in the 60s. There was observed the behavior of infants when their mothers left the room and left them alone. For example, some children cried, and when mothers came back, they calmed down and continued to play (secure relationships). Others were crying after mothers leaving and even after her returning: they were angry and pushed her (anxious relationships). And others behaved as if nothing had happened: they ignored their mothers and continued to play (escaping relationships).
Therefore this suggests us that our adult relationships are closely linked with the way we were able to love while we were children.
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