It is no secret or something to be discovered that most, if not all, people seek closeness with their partner. But, it appears there are different kinds of closeness/intimacy, which is very interesting to me, because I think that some relationships may be high in one kind of intimacy but low in another (yes, just like food can be high in carbs but low in fats and protein, for example).

Here are the main types of intimacy that exist in a relationship:

Physical intimacy

I think this is the most well-known type of intimacy, and it’s exactly what it says on the tin. This includes sex but also how comfortable a couple is hugging, cuddling, and holding hands with each other. Difficulties with this type of intimacy can arise not only during sex but also when one of the partners, for example, doesn’t like it that they partner is obese, which results in them shirking physical contact.

Emotional intimacy

This is where things get a little more interesting. Emotional intimacy is more complicated since it involves sharing different emotions and feelings with your partner, being vulnerable, confiding in your partner about your past negative experiences, for example with exes or family members, sharing your deepest fears with your partner. Emotional intimacy is about introspection, discussing what you want from a relationship, trying to understand and support your partner without judgement. Difficulties with this type of intimacy may come up if one of the partners is not a good listener, doesn’t try to understand the other’s fears, or doesn’t trust them.

Experiential intimacy

This one includes experiences a couple shares with each other. Things like travelling together, going on vacation together, or even just cooking something together not only help you get to know each other on a deeper level and create joint memories but also lead to things like inside jokes about the experience and things that you learn together as a couple (for example, when you go to the gym together and learn more about exercise and healthy lifestyle). Difficulties can be caused by one partner’s dislike for travel or trips, for example, which will lead to fewer diverse experiences together.

Spiritual intimacy

This type of intimacy is perhaps not for everyone as not everybody is spiritual or religious. But things like praying together, or meditating together, or visiting temples together, or having honest discussions about the higher power and purpose can all greatly increase the spiritual intimacy in a relationship. Difficulties with this type of closeness can surface if the partners practice different religions, or one of them is very religious and the other is not. However, even if there is such a difference in religious beliefs, you can still openly discuss your beliefs with your partner and try to see things from their perspective, which will lead to more understanding in the relationship.

Intellectual intimacy

This type of intimacy helps you connect with your partner through the discussion of your opinions. You don’t have to feel pressured to agree with your partner on everything, and the more you discuss different thought-provoking things together (for example, discussing an article you both read, or your opinion on politics and economics), the closer you feel intellectually. Difficulties here can arise if one or both of the partners are unwilling to accept that the other may have a different point of view.

Creative intimacy

This sounds like the least thought of type of intimacy, and if both people are not creative, they might feel no need for it. But things like painting something together or trying to come up with a song together, for example, can help increase this type of intimacy and make you feel more connected to your partner after seeing how they creatively express themselves.

So, what do you think about these types of intimacy? Which ones are the most and the least important to you? Maybe you think there is one more type of intimacy that should be on this list? Let me know!