It can be so easy to weave words that on the surface are happy, sincere, loyal, and full of love. It is also easy to write the best attributes of one’s self in a profile biography. We write of our best traits and leave out the less desirable to sell our selves to a prospective mate. We are marketing ourselves. We request the idyllic things in our future partner. Are we marketing our true selves? Are we hiding something that would be revealed when on a face to face date?
Trust is a key component to online dating. It doesn’t matter if you are 5 miles or 5,000 miles apart. Online dating without meeting is very difficult and involves more trust than normal.
I have met the one woman for me here on this site. For easier reading, I will give her a blog name—let’s call her Sveta.
Sveta broke the ice with some letters to me. She was merely one of many who wrote to me. Her letters were similar to most ladies’ letters. But there was something different. There seemed to be a tenderness of sincerity that echoed her profile.
I was curious that the age range for her potential mate was the site limits, 18–80. That is a big range. But for me it worked because I was between those ages.
I finally wrote back to her and a few others. I chatted with some of you. But Sveta’s letters and chat touched my heart in deeper way than any other. I was smitten. How could this be? I have not yet heard her voice nor have we seen each other face to face. So I wrote to her and requested a more personal video. Would she mind? She obliged with a very nice video. Sveta told me that I had “let her believe in love again” in that first video. I feel that I now touched her heart. She is melting my heart—with words and a short video. My heart was on fire. Valentine’s Day was approaching. And we could not see each other. We are 5,000 miles apart. What can I do with this developing dot com love to show her that I am rapidly falling in love with her?
For the record, my love language is not material gifts. In fact it is the least of the five on my list after taking the test. My life has proven this true. But I need to show Sveta in some way that I am indeed falling for her. I am a graphic artist, so the first thing I did was create an electronic card specifically for her. Mike Love Sveta, Heart on fire. I hoped she liked it. I hope she saved it to her computer to remind her of my feelings. I also bought her chocolates. Again, these are things I don’t normally do, but this is a dot com love. I couldn’t make her breakfast in bed nor could I give her a full body massage to relax her. I certainly couldn’t spend time sitting with her.
We started to write about more personal things. We are trusting each other. We are sharing videos. I think this is a key component to dot com love. It gives us moments of voice and life. Of course it can be edited and made to look perfect. But there are usually hints when something is edited. I have “met” her daughter and her mother. Albeit through photos and words. But it is more personal.
I sent flowers to Sveta, her mother, and her daughter for International Women’s Day. This holiday, was merely an excuse to send her flowers. Ultimately, I wanted the flowers, as a gesture, to show that my words in my letters are sincere.
My divorce has left me jaded, but like Sveta said in her first video to me, she has “let me believe in love, again” and I want to show her that is true. I do believe in love again. It’s dot com love, but it is love.
She and I share March as our birthday month. We share videos of congratulations to each other. She share her greeting in English. She has a solid command of English. I share greetings in Ukrainian. I never spoke a single word in Ukrainian until I met Sveta. So my words to her are very practiced and I am very nervous speaking her language. She is gracious and kind in her assessment of my attempts to speak Ukrainian I am learning her language because I am in love with her. What else can I do? It’s a dot com love and I need to make it as real as possible.
As all things in life, there are ups and downs. Right now, her letters are less frequent to me. Ukraine and it’s cities are locked down due to the WuFlu. There is tension with lockdowns. There is a border crisis with Russia posturing their military and a war in the southeastern part of the country. A family member was struck ill for a while. She is working remotely. Is this why I do not get many letters from her? Are their other dot com loves in her life that she would rather spend time writing to? Is she a “bot” employed by the site? That is where ultimate trust comes in with dot com love. Sveta has professed her love to me. She has promised to be my wife. When will this happen? As soon as Ukraine is released from lockdown and she can secure her visa. I have to trust her and her dot com love for me. What else can I do?
And she has to have ultimate trust and faith in me. It’s a two way street. Other than my words and videos to her, what guarantees does she have that I am a good and decent man. There are many sex traffickers online. There are men who raise their hands against women. There are men who use women only for their physical pleasure. What proof can I offer Sveta that I am not like this? What proof is there that when she arrives in my city that I don’t abandon her? As a good and decent man, I have to realize that these can be and are real issues for ladies. I am sure some of these thoughts and others that I haven’t mentioned cross her mind in our dot com love.
How much trust are you willing to place in your dot com love? Are you willing to sacrifice as if your dot com love was standing beside you at the moment. I harken back to a song from Steven Curtis Chapman, Got To B Tru. A line in that song goes as such: “ It's got to b tru, I've gotta be living what I say I believe, It's got to b tru, even when nobody but Jesus is watching me.”
I hope for all of you who are going through a dot com love, that you can trust your Sveta or your Mike. I truly hope that your trust is not misplaced or betrayed. I hope you are completely honest with your dot com love. Reveal your warts to your dot com love. They will find out and see those warts sooner or later. Just be sure that the beautiful part of you, the loyal, trustworthy, and love part of you overshadows the wart you have.
Sveta reads my blogs. And although I do not get as many letters from her as I would like (which is one a day,) I know she will respond to this blog. I fully trust her. I have fully trusted her with the most precious part of my being; my heart and my love.
Dot com love. It is difficult. So all you Mikes out there, trust your Svetas and believe in them. The Svetas want to be with you and share their tenderness with you. All you Svetas out there, ask your Mikes the hard questions and go to them as soon as possible. The Mikes will give their hearts, souls, and lay down their lives for you. Until next time, may you dot com love morph quickly into real love.