For people looking for love and long-term relationships online, especially ones that lead to marriage, there are two schools of thought. The first is that opposites attract — which is a well-known phrase — and that you should look for people who are different to you, ones who help you ‘fill the gaps’ in your personality; it’s known as the complementarity theory. The second theory is that you are more likely to be able to form stable lasting relationships if you date people you share the same interests and want the same things out of life as.
People’s personalities matter when it comes to forming lasting relationships. If a couple isn’t compatible, it’s unlikely they will get along long-term, even if they are physically attracted to each other, because there will be too much tension and too many arguments. This means heartache and heartbreak and a lot of wasted time going into a relationship that wasn’t ever meant to be.
This doesn’t mean that differences are all bad, they’re not. In fact, differences can be positive if two people can come together and use their differences to make a whole that works. What is important here is that you, and your partner, have the right attitude when it comes to working through any differences. If your girlfriend lacks confidence, for example, she might look for a man who is very confident, drawing on this strength to help her overcome her fears. This could be a good thing. It won’t work, however, if you are a confident male looking for an equally confident woman as you might end up seeing your girlfriend as weak, which could irritate you.
In most cases, it should be recognized that differences can become bigger over time and what at first seems like something small, can become insurmountable, especially if it involves what you want from a relationship and your girlfriend can’t give you what you need, despite an initial attraction.
It isn’t just this site that feels this way. Any number of experts in the field of love, including artists, scholars, and psychologists, agree that opposites might attract, but the relationships formed don’t have staying power and are likely to lead to break-ups. It is much better when you are looking at online dating profiles to look for women that are similar to you and want the same things from a relationship that you do.
When we say that you should look for women that are similar to you, this doesn’t mean they have to be identical. Rather, there needs to be shared common ground that will allow you to get to know each other and for your relationship to be developed.
If you have an interest in art, for example, you might look for women who paints as a hobby. This will give you a starting point for conversations, which will hopefully build from there, leading to other areas of interest and shared passions.
What If There Are No Common Interests?
When you first look at the profile of a woman you find attractive, you might think that there are no common interests and that you are completely different from each other. Your instinct might be to completely walk away. Before you do though, take a closer look just to be sure. Think about who you are as a person and what within you a Ukrainian girl would be interested in. This means going beyond interests to looking at personality traits such as:
· Aptitude: No Russian woman wants to date a man who’s mediocre or can’t back up their sweet words with action and evidence they are serious about a relationship. Let the girl you are interested in know what you’re good at, be that in life (you might be good with your hands for example) or in business.
· Determination: It’s important you don’t come across as a man who rests on his laurels but, rather, as one who is ambitious and intent on achieving their goals. This is especially appealing to Russian brides and they find it very attractive.
· Calmness: While Russian women like to be pursued, they don’t want to feel like your emotions are ruling you. You need to be calm and in control when it comes to your relationship.
· Happiness: When work becomes stressful, remember to keep this back from the woman you are interested in. She wants a happy boyfriend, one she doesn’t feel is distracted by business concerns when he’s talking to her.
· Kindness: Russian women want to date men who are kind, caring and – while strong and confident in themselves – are not afraid to admit if they’ve made a mistake and won’t treat her badly if she admits to making one herself.
· Truthfulness: When you start talking to a woman you’re interested in, be true to yourself and truthful with her. Don’t say you are one thing when you’re really another because the truth will come out eventually and this could damage your relationship.
· Humor: Russian girls like to have fun and laugh. Take time to figure out what makes her smile. Joke with her, using self-deprecating humor to lighten the mood.
· Sensitivity: Be sensitive to the woman you are talking to. Russian women don’t like men who are rude or act in ways that are unpredictable.
Men looking to date Eastern European women are generally looking for someone they want to marry and settle down with. If that’s the case, make sure you talk to women you are interested in and that you have common values. This goes beyond shared interests and hobbies – though these are very important.
Talk to the woman you want to date about the importance of family. Most Russian girls want a traditional family life, taking care of their husband and the home and may well want children. If you don’t want children and she does, this could cause issues long-term, so discuss this early on in your relationship.
Religion is something else you should discuss. A lot of Russian women are religious and belong to the Orthodox Church, which is a big part of their lives. Talk to your girlfriend about her faith and whether it is important to her.
You also need to think about the level of education the women you are interested in have. Many Russian women are educated to degree level, speak multiple languages and can talk about culture and current affairs easily. Not all men want a wife who might have a higher level of education than them, so it is best you are comfortable with this if it’s the case.
Finally, it’s important to talk about what you both want from life. What are your goals, your ambitions, what do you want to achieve? And are these compatible with the woman you are dating?
These shared values and beliefs are, according to relationship experts, a key to building good relationships that last. A study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology in 2005, for example, found that newlyweds who had these things in common were more likely to have marriages that lasted as opposed to those that differed when it came to religion and life goals. This is because they had more common ground to work from and that, if there are issues between them, they were more likely to be able to resolve them because they both wanted the same things in life at the end of the day.
When you begin looking for a relationship with a woman from Russia, there are so many things to consider and you are likely to be attracted to more than one girl initially. Each will have qualities that appeal to you, and some of these might be very different from your own personality traits. You might be tempted to start a relationship thinking you can change the woman you like into the wife you want her to be.
Sometimes, this is possible, if the differences aren’t too deep. However, most times, it will not work, and the woman won’t be able to change, and neither will you. You might have chemistry but, long-term, you need more than this. You need to like the same types of things, enjoy the same lifestyle (be that going out and socializing or staying home and cuddling up in front of the TV), and want the same things from life.
It all comes down to find a balance, letting small differences go but sticking to your guns when it comes to the important things like your values and life goals. This way, you are more likely to find love and build a successful relationship that lasts a lifetime.