Sometimes it seems to me that we girls live in some kind of movie with an eternal script. Sit quietly, smile, and maybe someone will notice. Don't run ahead, don't speak first, don't write, don't call. Why? So that they don't think something wrong? 😅 But what if I DON'T WANT them to think for me?

I really respect men. But I respect myself too. And if I'm interested, if someone caught my eye with a look, a phrase, a movement - why can't I express myself? Why is activity necessarily a sign of weakness, melancholy and inner poverty? Or maybe, on the contrary, is it from excess? From the fact that I can feel, that I'm not afraid to live life, and not wait for it somewhere on the couch.

I don't want to pretend that I don't care if I DO care. I don't like to play "indifference" just to look right. And who needs it anyway - to be right? 🤔 I want to be real. With my feelings, with my fears, with my messages at 10:47 pm, which are not always appropriate, but from the heart. Because that's how I live - by feelings.

Yes, I'm scared sometimes. Yes, it happens that the answer does not come. And yes, it can hurt a little. But then I just remember that I'm not a thing on a shelf that needs to be chosen. I'm a person. With your voice, your thoughts, your first steps. Even if sometimes bypassing, even if sometimes blindly. But ALIVE.

So I'm not desperate. I just can't sit back when I want to live, breathe and write. At least to someone. At least once. 💌

Natal