My friends say I'm too apologetic. I apologize for existing, basically. Sorry for calling, sorry for texting, sorry for having needs. But where does this come from? Why do I feel like I have to earn the right to just... be here?

I think maybe it's because I'm still figuring out who I am. When you're young, you're not sure if your feelings matter yet. You're not sure if your voice is worth hearing. So you shrink yourself. You make yourself smaller so nobody gets annoyed.

But then I think—what if this never goes away? What if I'm 40 and still apologizing for taking up space? That thought scares me more than anything. 💭✨