Someone bumped into me on the street, and I automatically said "Sorry." My friend was upset about something completely unrelated to me, and I found myself apologizing. It's like I'm programmed to take blame for everything around me, even when logically I know I'm not responsible.

I think it started when I was younger. Growing up, I learned that if something went wrong, it was somehow always a bit my fault. 😅 Maybe I said something wrong, maybe I wasn't there when someone needed me, maybe I just existed in a way that wasn't convenient. So I started apologizing preemptively, like maybe if I say sorry first, people will be gentler with me.

But now I'm older and I'm realizing how much power I'm giving away. 😞 Every time I apologize for someone else's behavior, I'm telling them it's okay. Every time I say sorry for taking up space, I'm accepting that I shouldn't exist as fully as I do. And that's... really sad when you think about it.

I watch other girls my age who don't do this. They're confident, they stand firm, they don't shrink themselves. 💪 And people still like them. In fact, people respect them more. So why am I so afraid to do the same?

The worst part is that I apologize even when I'm angry. Someone hurts me, and instead of saying how I feel, I say "I'm sorry for being upset." It's like I'm not even allowed to have emotions without apologizing for them. 😤

I'm trying to break this habit. I'm trying to be more aware of when I'm apologizing just out of habit versus when I actually did something wrong. And it's hard. It feels rude sometimes, like I'm being mean if I don't soften everything with an apology. But I'm learning that standing up for myself isn't mean. It's necessary.

Why is it so hard for young women to believe they deserve to take up space without constantly saying sorry for it?