Like, I'd listen to things I didn't actually enjoy and say I did. I'd act like I had opinions about stuff I'd never even thought about before. Not in a fake dramatic way — just small, quiet adjustments to seem more... I don't know. More worth paying attention to.

And the exhausting part? It didn't even feel like lying. It just felt like trying.

But at some point something small shifted. I was in a conversation and I said something genuinely, completely honestly — something kind of ordinary and un-cool — and the world didn't end 🌸 Nobody rolled their eyes. And I felt so much lighter than I had in weeks.

I think when you're young you believe that who you naturally are isn't quite enough yet. That you're a rough draft and interesting people are the finished version.

But I'm starting to think the rough draft is actually the realest thing about me. The half-formed opinions, the things I don't know yet, the music I actually listen to when nobody's watching 🎵

There's something worth protecting in that.

I don't know when exactly "just being yourself" started sounding like a cliché instead of actual wisdom. But I think it got dismissed too quickly.